Writing Great Dialogue – Part 4
Monday, March 9th, 2009In this fourth installment of Dialogue and the Art of War, Randy Ingermanson talks about Point of View.
Yesterday, Randy whimsically used Dilbert (to great effect) in presenting how to eliminate Dialogue Tags while strengthening the dialogue in the process. By adding Point of View it further enriches the dialogue and gives it even more depth.
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Dialogue and the Art of War — Part 4
Point Of View
In the last three issues, I talked about why dialogue is not like “real conversation”, about what makes good dialogue, and about the importance of using dialogue tags. In all three cases, it comes down to showing conflict, not telling it. Dialogue is war and you need to show the battle in all its gory glory.
This month, I want to add another dimension to this discussion. The key point is that every war has a “good side” and a “bad side.” (That’s the theory, anyway. In practice, it ain’t necessarily so.)
The “good side” is Us. The “bad side” is Them. War is all about Us against Them. And so is dialogue.
More precisely, dialogue is about Me against Them.
And that brings us to the topic of Point of View (POV). Those of you who’ve ever heard me speak or have worked through my Fiction 101 series know that there is only one goal for the novelist: You must give your reader a Powerful Emotional Experience. Period.
There is no substitute for this. Everything you do as a novelist should be directed to creating that Powerful Emotional Experience.
Remember that emotion is centered in a character, the POV character. In any given scene, there will be ONE POV character. Your goal as a novelist is therefore extremely simple: Put your reader inside the skin of that POV character and give your reader the same Powerful Emotional Experience that the character is having.
Do that and you are a novelist. Fail to do that and you are forever a wannabe, because even your mother will yawn through your writing.
I’m being dogmatic here because I’m right and every published novelist in the world knows it.
How does this relate to dialogue? Simple. In your dialogue, there are two sides: Me and Them. “Me” refers to your POV character. “Them” refers to everyone else.
You MUST show your dialogue through the lens of your POV character. You must.
Remember the wretched dialogue we looked at last month? (If you’ve forgotten, you can look it up in the archives on my web site:)
http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/ezine/index.phpLast month, we buffed up that wretched dialogue by adding in action tags. This month, we’ll make it better by choosing a POV character and showing the entire dialogue from within the skin of that POV character. In fact, we’ll do it twice, from two different POV characters. (Warning: it’ll still be wretched dialogue, because you just can’t rescue this abomination, even with proper technique.)
Dialogue #1, from Dilbert’s POV:
“Why are you late again?” Bossbert leaned back in his chair and twirled his pointy hair with his pudgy fingers.
Dilbert smoothed his tie again. The thing still wouldn’t lie flat. This had to be that laundry woman’s fault. She hated him — that was it. “What makes you think I’m late? By Hawaii time, I’m early.”
“Go help Wally.” Bossbert bit into a donut. Jelly ran down his fingers onto the carpet. “He’s behind again.”
Dilbert was sick to death of helping Wally, but he was even more sick to death of arguing with Bossbert.
“Where is he?”Bossbert shrugged. “How should I know? Just find him!”
“OK, OK, no need to get huffy.” Dilbert tossed his briefcase into his cubicle, grabbed his coffee cup, and scurried down the hall. At least he was rid of the pointy-haired demon from –
“Alice has the design documents.” Bossbert padded along behind him.
Dilbert wondered if life could possibly get any better than this.
Asok the intern raced out of the coffee room. “Dilbert, help us get Wally out of the trash compactor!”
Dilbert’s heart began racing, but he was pretty sure Asok’s news was too good to be true.
Bossbert whacked his hand against his pointy hair. “This place is a zoo.”
Dilbert stared at him. Could you die of irony?
* * *
Dialogue #2, from Bossbert’s POV:
“Why are you late again?” Bossbert leaned back in his chair and twirled his hair with his fingers, wondering what kind of sad excuse Dilbert was going to make this time.
Dilbert smoothed at his tie like he did every day. It sprang back up again like it did every day. “What makes you think I’m late? By Hawaii time, I’m early.”
And how was a boss going to get anything done with an employee like that? Maybe the only hope for Dilbert was osmosis off the star employee in the group. “Go help Wally.” Bossbert bit into a donut. Jelly ran down his fingers onto the carpet. Alice had probably sabotaged the donuts again. “He’s behind again.” And no wonder, when all Wally’s teammates were such screwoffs.
Dilbert got that helpless look on his face that could drive you nuts if you let it. “Where is he?”
Bossbert shrugged. He was not going to let Dilbert get to him. He was NOT. “How should I know? Just find him!”
“OK, OK, no need to get huffy.” Dilbert tossed his briefcase into his cubicle, grabbed his coffee cup, and scurried down the hall.
That kind of evasion was just typical of the little worm. Bossbert wasn’t going to let him off the hook. He hurried after Dilbert. “Alice has the design documents.” You had to spell things out for a guy like Dilbert.
Asok the intern raced out of the coffee room. “Dilbert, help us get Wally out of the trash compactor!”
Bossbert whacked his hand against his head. Thirteen months and fifteen days till retirement. IF these monkeys didn’t give him a stroke first. “This place is a zoo.”
* * *
Like I said, there’s not a lot you can do with a scene this horrible, but we did our best here. In Dialogue #1, we showed the war from Dilbert’s side, and Bossbert was the bad guy. Everything Dilbert does has a reason. Everything Bossbert does is inane.
In Dialogue #2, it’s the reverse. Now Bossbert is the smart guy, and Dilbert is the dork.
We achieved these effects with a little interior monologue woven into the dialogue. Interior monologue is the train of thoughts inside the POV character’s head. A little interior monologue goes a long way toward getting your reader inside the skin of your POV character.
Of course, you need more that that to write great dialogue. You need stakes. And in the Dilbert/Bossbert scenes above, there really aren’t any stakes. Next month, we’ll look at some examples of scenes with stakes that are a bit higher.
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Award-winning novelist Randy Ingermanson, “The Snowflake Guy,” publishes the Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine, with more than 15,000 readers, every month. If you want to learn the craft and marketing of fiction, AND make your writing more valuable to editors, AND have FUN doing it, visit: http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.comDownload your free Special Report on Tiger Marketing and get a free 5-Day Course in How To Publish a Novel.
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Tomorrow: “The Subtlety of Subtext”
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